Have You Finished Those Errands?

Dazed and confused,

taken away by waves of water cascading down below eyelids.

Hours feel like they were hours ago and I’m convinced it’s already next week.

Just yesterday I promised there’d be no next time.

Blink and wake to a new reality and I’m making the same mistakes,

dressed in my promises but speaking completely wrong.

Let’s get out tonight so I can lose my mind.

Let’s find a way out tonight so I can lose my fucking head,

let the stars in and comfort my worries.

Trying to find ways to forget about you is harder than they said.

I want to give you credit for disappearing so well.

The water continues;

it’s hard to tell where the rain begins and where my emotions are bare.

Call off today—take me out tomorrow,

lead me by the hand to a circle of strangers with their own next-times.

I’ll tell you how it went but with the truth removed,

filling your conscious with the assurance that my eyes won’t stay closed.

Rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat:

Day 35 and I’m still dragging my feet.

Come Day 40 I’ll be back in the circle,

and by Day 50 the stars will stop helping.

Within this, without you, progress stays true to a straight line,

watching my friends jump in and on and in front of trains:

Lives filled with arrivals and departures set in cubistic motion and time tables.

Left searching with nothing but Murphy to judge by,

I’m consigned to believe abandonment is just payment.

Here’s an apology to the ones that stayed at the station:

You didn’t get what you wanted.

You got more than you paid for.

And when all else is factored, you didn’t reap a profit.

You reaped what you didn’t sow.

But how could you have known?

How would you tell until you knew me too well?

Pick me back up when I fall down on the dance floor or let me melt into the cracks.

I’ll spend time in the ground.

Rest easy for a while.

Don’t wake me.

Don’t wake me up.

I’ll leave a note on the stars.

I’ll be back once in a while.

( ❤ Mitch)

(and thank all of you who have followed recently! I’m so grateful to have you all along for the ride 😀 )

I Failed My Robotics Class Last Semester

Show me your face.

I’m asking for guarantees; the ones that you hide behind the make-up,

the subtext of your actions left to hide behind the eyes.

Playing cloak-and-dagger with emotional drama is a sure-fire way to cause further trauma.

Can we agree to tear down our borders and find a new way to speak?

And please line up and say your names; I forgot you all.

The policy in play is an eye for an eye, and you already took mine.

Show me the real face that you hide from me.

I didn’t think I was asking for much before I saw the look you gave.

Fame has no place in my desires and I’ll live long enough without touching it.

My soul was on display and you collectively turned your backs:

The choreographed locomotive fallback when you’re given something different.

We live lives with our boxes and we can’t figure it out:

Some things don’t fit where we want them to.

Show me that face you’ve used to disarm me.

I’m running out of ways to see you in a positive light.

My patience was stretched so thin it turned into the dust on your circuit board.

I tried to connect and tried to fight, but I found you were like the rest;

They churn you out of factories and discard all the best.

Your name is a series of numbers I can’t be fucked to know.

It was my mistake for joining your freak show.

It was my mistake for doing what I was told.

Some people just can’t be reasoned with.

( ❤ Mitch)

You Can Call it a Monet

If we met back when we were kids, how much of this would have been reversed?

How much of anything could have been changed instead of living in stasis?

If I keep guessing with these “what-if’s,” will it change your mind?

Take your time: waiting is a game we play for all our lives.

I’ll spend my freedom on some empty words and self-assurance,

arm-in-arm with my brothers-and-sisters in arms:

Lovingly twisting each and bending until we break.

There’s no telling when the tension is going to flow over.

We’re trying to push the envelope until we tear it to pieces.

I’ll wait and circle around like a shark;

my esteem is low enough as the ocean floor.

Every moment I’m hoping you’ll be back for more:

Think of the nights nestled in cloth with a vinyl disc spinning lazily,

our hands intertwined, spun in silk so delicately.

Think of the days in the sun with songs erupting from our hearts

and the rays of color refracting from the sky between our eyes.

And if you think of any more, will it become real enough for me touch?

Or can I just think of it myself and cover for you?

I’ll trick myself into thinking it’s not my loss to count

during all those times together with our brothers-and-sisters in arms,

closer and closer every day as we cope and laugh at our words,

bringing our smiles so close but our hearts at a distance.

It’s the impressions that matter the most to me;

the seconds of love that pass too quick to see.

I’m painting a photo of you and me for when we leave this scene.

I never really was, but what if I was?

What if anything I though was real?

What if I thought you loved me?

Nothing more has to be said; he’s calling for you again.

No more has to be said; I guess you can go home again.

( ❤ Mitch)

And That Day, the Clouds Marched Away

I was trying to talk

but you were worrying about the cracks in the sidewalk.

Too many old tales from too many old friends

made you think one wrong step and you’re dead.

Words are a struggle if you turn to tug-of-war,

and when it comes to aggression, I’m clearly not your type.

Take care in the way your mouth moves,

keep an open mind whenever the wind blows,

because a movement is a movement no matter how it moves.

The world won’t revolve around absolutes.

The way you work, you’re keeping your enemies close and the worse of the lot closer,

holding that shield steady to keep anyone from reaching in,

bracing for a rainstorm on a clear day,

too busy with your thoughts that they all drifted away.

I wrapped my life into a ball and tried to see where it’d roll.

It didn’t go as planned—nothing ever goes as planned.

Stay a level head and a level mind,

for when you stumble along there’s shelter to find.

Days will come where you’ll play the blind man and shut your eyelids on life

when the world turns and turns around the here and now,

closing off ears and sealing mouths shut to dull any sense,

not caring to know the color you miss.

It’s been so long since we’ve talked and it will be forever until we really do.

Here’s a note passed between desks, between the words we shot over the bow.

I stayed up until the sun came up last night,

and I found that I wasn’t able to breathe;

no tears, no screams, no anger and no fears.

I had been laughing for so long and never felt better in my life.

( ❤ Mitch)

Promises Came with Threats

I’m so content with myself tonight.

I said some bullshit philosophy and created some hate against you.

Satisfied with the way I’ve put more fault in your mistakes and how I made you my enemy.

I’m so content with closing my door tonight.

The less I know, the better I’ll feel by the end of the day.

No more photographs and evidence of how you’ve been away.

Leave me ignorant to escapades and bar room tabs.

I’ll hide behind my own misinformation and pretend you’re still the same.

Your memories are playing games with me.

You’re at your best when you’re nowhere near me.

We placed our bet on distance but we forgot to do the numbers.

Math was never my best; I’ll put the blame on you.

Trying to get you to stay was never my best; I’ll put the blame on you.

Keeping you in my arms was never my best; I’ll put the blame on you.

Because you can take it.

Every thought I have left of you can bear it for me.

Take on the weight and keep me afloat, keep me away from it.

It’s a small favor to ask for the trouble we went through.

The less I know, the more blame I’ll put on you.

I’ll force you down and out with all the strength I can give.

I’ll force you out so you can leave

and stop haunting me

and never be my ghost.

Or I’ll do the same to you, no matter what you do.

I’ll do the same to you, be that demon for you.

( ❤ Mitch)